lost

These few days super lousy.
Everything is so not going my way.

Ya can call it karma.
Karma from what?
From listening to people's problems, helping my trainees in any way I can so that they will enjoy being in armour, being one of the most on and up instructor and help everyone in my department and what else? O ya, organising gathering.

What I get in return?
People do not wan to come for the gathering, gathering cancel one way or another, people forget they are suppose to meet me, failing to get into a uni, failing in my driving test, want to borrow a listening ear but who ever wants to listen, I can seriously delete all my msn contacts and leave like 18 left, I don't even think many remember I have a blog, people don't even acknowledge the things I do.
It was like during one of the passing out parade. I was the decoration 2IC and the decoration IC have to go for some course and everything was thrown to me. Then everything like adjusting the lights all these also ask me to do the reason they give was cause I use to climbing up and down the ladder le. Then after the whole thing there is a debrief and there were like saying decoration got anything to say? O, decoration IC not here so skip. And when the decorations got problem like have holes and all those, I have to pay with my own money. Even when I told the higher up about the problem they were like noted and forgotten. Nice way to work.

Once someone said: How can I give you a gift when you already have so many.
I actually thought it was quite meaning full. Now I find it a whole lot of crap.

O ya, if you are wonder who the 18 are they are?
THE QUEEN! BIG STAR! Bear/Monk/Wicket. Ah Ong. Ah Ma and Ah Mah
KS. ZH. PY. YY. Ah LOO. JW. W'an. WALTON TON. "Pilot" aka walton oso. Flabby. Muel.
Snowyball

You know what,
You won, I lost.
Happy to see me in such a sad state right?
I should just F off from the world.
No diff, my existence is already slowly slipping away.